1982 - The Beginning of my story started in a Christian family in the city of Guelph, ON, Canada. I was raised on a healthy musical diet of the Beatles, Enya, Tracy Chapman, Simon & Garfunkel, and 80s christian music. I learned some guitar from the musicians at my church, but didn't really dive into music as a passion until discovered the rave scene in 1999. I fell madly in love with trance music, like this. Electronic music (with ecstasy, to be honest) transported me to another world where I felt like a child again. It was definitely a drug fueled experience, but because of the density of conditioning, fear and shame in my system, it was necessary and I have no shame now about the path I took. That said, it took me 20 years to break free of the addictions and dependencies on psychoactive substances that were set in motion during that time. I just felt so connected to other humans in a way I had never known in my adolescence. I felt like me. I felt free. I danced all night.
I wanted to be a DJ.
2000 - I bought a set of crappy used turntables, started DJing for friends and at small local parties, and started producing music on my computer. I was in love. I was hooked on electronic music. I was also hooked on the drugs and alcohol that opened me up to feel more confidence and connection. It was not sustainable.
2003 - The party all came to a crashing halt when I was delivered a rude awakening on the back of a beastly LSD trip.
This ended up being the most important night of my life wrapped in the worst night of my life.
As hard as it was, that night I experienced something I couldn't describe. The ego I knew myself to be back then, Teddy, crossed an Event Horizon and there was no going back. In the darkest depths of my forgetting, suffering and despair, I touched something powerful, a Deep Light, and a creative power I had never felt. Following that experience I began asking deeper questions like, what is beyond this world? who am I really? why am I here? and what is all this? really. I started praying. To God, my higher self, my angels, anything that might be out there (aka in here) for help. I began nursing school, started meditating and doing yoga, reading about eastern spiritual traditions, dabbling in conspiracy theories, changed my diet, started cleansing, went to Ayahuasca and Santo Daimé ceremonies, and met other people who seemed to be walking a similar path as me. I continued to be guided and pulled towards some unknown, invisible destination. Meanwhile, my creative passions were coming to life more every day. I was writing songs on the guitar and expressing my truth and considered pursuing music.
2008 - During my 3rd year of nursing school, I remember walking through the park and laying under a tree. The personal growth coach spoke three words I will never forget: “Follow your Bliss." In that moment I knew I was done with nursing school. I dropped out of nursing school the next day to take the bold leap to pursue music as a career. Not surprisingly, I fell, pretty hard. After ending up in jail one cold Canadian night, I admitted I was lost, I was cold, alone and had failed. I bit the bullet but gladly moved back home with my mom and dad to get back on my feet and start over. They didn’t support my choice, but thankfully, they understood and helped me get back on my feet.
2009 - I used the time living at home with my folks to study, meditate, and practice playing guitar, singing & songwriting. It really felt like I was waking up inside The Matrix. By day I worked as a cook and on my free time I would write songs at home in my bedroom, then at night I would go sing covers in bars and party. I bought my first Taylor guitar in 2009. I did what I had to to follow my bliss. Even though a lot of the time, it didn’t feel like bliss. It felt like a struggle. I felt torn between worlds. The Old World: my familiar life, the night life. Partying. Booze. Fleeting drug-fueled connections. It was what I knew. But it always ended in suffering and pain. I would crawl back to my New World, battered and bruised. I would sit, meditate, and work my way back to my new Theo suit where I would reconnect with my soul and start vibrating again with who I was becoming. I felt vibrant, alive, creative, and free. But I had to build it. I had to work for it every day. It was unfamiliar and uncertain, but it felt so right. I had a hard time fully committing to my New World so I would bounce back and forth between these two divergent lives, until I hit rock bottom, again, after my best friends wedding and realized I needed to really quit the partying and take step towards this ineffable source of all that was good in my life, this overflowing Fountain of Endless Grace. So I did, but this time Spirit was calling me to make a much bigger leap, to really dive off the cliff, into the deep waters of my heroes journey. A journey that would take me away from my old life to a new and distant land.
I knew I had to leave, and I knew I was Homebound.
2011 Feb - I left my hometown with just a guitar and a backpack. I was headed for the West Coast to volunteer with the Pachamama Alliance along with 3 other passionate "change agents" to share the Awakening the Dreamer Symposium throughout Southern California. I sang my songs as part of the workshops and it felt good to be serving something greater than myself through music. It was as fun as it was challenging. And all I knew after it was over was that I didn't want to go back to Canada. I wanted to make a living as a musician, but I didn't even have an album to sell. So I stayed on the West Coast, looking for the next invisible sign.
2011 Oct - After 6 homeless months - where I surfed from couch to couch, busking, playing every gig I could get - I finally landed at The One Event in Seattle, which lead me to Tribal Convergence in Williams OR, which lead me to the Onedoorland community in Portland, OR. Little did I know I would meet my soul mate, Amma Li, become a father, and spend the next 10 years of my life in the most dynamic & creative collaboration I'd ever known, while also beginning to engage something I would later come to know as 'shadow work.' It was rough. It was beautiful. It was painful. It was unforgettable. And I am forever grateful to the many beloveds who have guided and helped me along my path in this time.
There was one moment in the early days of my journey that was especially memorable. I remember coming back into my body after a very powerful ceremony, feeling a sense of Endless Wonder. One moment I was resting In The Eternity of Heaven's Arms and the next I was here, in my life. I struggled to remember anything other than a vague, general feeling of Infinite Love, and it was fading fast. But there was a glimmer. A flicker of a memory. A message in the form of a desire, embedded in the layers of my heart's longing to serve Life Itself. A mission, should I choose to accept it - if I even really had a choice to accept it or not - was to do my best a putting just 1% of the ineffable Beauty, Unity, and Boundlessness that I just experienced into music. But even that seemed impossible. How could little me transmit such Infinite Power and Majesty?! How could I transcribe even 1% of that Immense Beauty & Truth?! The answer I got, and continue to get, is to continually and persistently work at getting out of the way, and allowing it through in greater and greater amounts, trust everything, and keep creating music that inspires a feeling of love.
Just follow your bliss! Easy right?
2022 - Well, here we are, 10 years later, and I'm still getting out of my own way. It's been a long, grinding and winding journey since those young & wild days. There's been lot's of failure, so much healing, and plenty of loss. But since we landed, Amma has given birth to the beautiful creative miracle that is our son Bijah Grace (now 6), Entheo has birthed 13+ albums, and we've collaborated with artists, teachers and poets from all over the world.
And the journey goes on!
Enough 'About Me.'
What about you?
What are you here to bring through?
The more I collaborate, the more I realize how much we need each other to bring through these tiny bite sized tastes of the Infinite, and when it happens, it's the most beautiful thing. When it's aligned with Spirits great plan for US, it's pure magic. Joy, bliss and prosperity flow abundantly, and all of life seems to sing like the first dawn of the morning light.
So listen to your heart.
And if it feels in alignment. If it feels like a yes to connect. I would love to create some magic with you!
If not, I wish you peace, love and prosperity on your heroic journey through life. Even in the darkest depths of the Sunless Sea may you drink deeply from the Spring of Benevolence and always remember where to find the ever-giving and endlessly flowing River of Life.
♾️Infinite Love & Gratitude ♾️